


I've never done this before

by MiaCousland



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M, First Time, Loss of Virginity, Sex, Tender Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-09
Updated: 2015-01-09
Packaged: 2018-03-06 20:20:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3147341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiaCousland/pseuds/MiaCousland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alistair and Mia sleep together for the first time, after months of longing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I've never done this before

**Author's Note:**

> I've been writing the stories in chapters in 'Choices We Make' but I'm so pleased with this that I want to put it as a stand alone story. Feedback always appreciated!

It would take several more washes to get the stink of Jarvia's underground madness out of my hair. The place had been dank, fetid and devoid of any fresh air. What amazed me most about Orzammar was the airflow. The forefathers had been great indeed. Little things like air pipes being decorated in regal scupltures, blending into the stonework of the different quarters of the great stone city. Massive air shafts had been cleverly blended into the buildings to allow fresh breathing air, even breezes every now and again. Not Jarvia's hideout. In there, nothing fresh had blown through in a while. The caves were rank with stagnant blood pools, faecal puddles and rancid water, plus the stench of unwashed bodies.

Waves of her soldiers had fallen to our blades like hot pokers through snow. They had regrouped and then hit again, only to be repelled. Their tactics had made our way hard going for a while but we pushed on. The advantage was theirs as they should have known the underground much better than we did. However, they were ill-fed, which made them weak. Jarvia presumably kept them hungry to keep them in line but it didn't work at all well. It made them crazy and sloppy but after having seen their leader, it didn't surprise me at all. She was insane. A real piece of work. But she had fallen along with her supposed fighters.

Like they all would.

It had taken us far less time to make it back to Dust Town, popping through a wall into that little ferret Janar's armourers, but as we walked tiredly through the Commons and then up to the Diamond Quarter, we could feel the eyes on us of all the dwarves we passed. Whether for good intent or no, because of gratitude or fear, they watched us trudge our way through the crowds to Harrowmont's estate. My arms dripped with the blood of the dwarves we had killed and even though they had been enemies, I still felt uncomfortably conspicuous that the blood that coated my armour were of the brothers, fathers, friends of those we passed.

“Thank you again.” Harrowmont had said. That was it.

Always one more step. As I lay on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, his words echoed round in my head. He would support us, and seemed grateful we had done what we had done, but Maker's arse, there was always one more fucking step. Now we had to go down into the Deep Roads to find a Paragon, no less. The Deep Roads were beyond comprehension in size. Maker knew how long it would take us to find her in the nug-warren of tunnels down there, if we could find her at all. We had clues on where to start but once we got down there, who knew what we would find. Darkspawn of course, but they were the least of our worries. A melancholic smile passed my lips. It was chilling that the Darkspawn would be the enemy we had to worry about the least.

Being under the stone terrified me. At the back of my mind there was always a soft tune playing in a dark and minor chord. Most of the time I could ignore it but it was always there. As I lay here in this small room hewn from the vast belly of a mountain, I felt infinitely vulnerable. My mortal enemies were nearer than they'd ever been. We were going to be venturing onto their ground, their blood-soaked territory, and we might not come out. The choice was certain death if we stayed out, or probably death if we went in. What gorgeous odds that gave, I realised as the fear started to play with my stomach. Would we make it? Would my friends survive? The ones I had been with every day for nearly three months and had become the only family I had left, apart from my brother. How would I cope knowing that I had lead them to their death? That thought was banished before it even began. Most of them had chosen to be here. I had rescued or pardoned most of them, and they had followed me out of some misguided loyalty, determined to help. But one, he stuck by me no matter what.

Alistair.

We had been thrown together by Duncan and the Blight. We had survived a Joining. We two were intimately connected beyond anything I could have described. Certainly anything I had ever known. Fear broke my face as I realised that I might lose him to the Calling whilst in the Deep Roads. One morning I would wake and he would be gone, off returning to the dark family that stalked the black ways below. Or I would be the one to go. Either way, parting seemed likely. Long ago, I had resigned myself to the fate that the Archdemon would more than likely part us forever. It was perhaps inevitable that we would die, perhaps not together but the chance of one of us dying was great. Separation from Alistair loomed over my future like an evil growth, intent on sucking the life out of me.

I loved him.

He was the mirror to my soul. The more time I spent with him, the more I knew I couldn't be parted from him. We spent most nights wrapped up in each other. Sometimes the group would give us the privacy to just sit by ourselves and talk, imagining we were two lovers sitting by a river with no cares in the world. At night, we would fall asleep in each other’s arms. Our relationship, though close, had been entirely chaste and innocent. We were intimate but not physically so. That bugged Zevran no end, who insisted on trying to give us advice and tips but we refused. Alistair had never given any cause for me to realise that he was going to be anything other than a gentleman. He was going to court me, like he had said. However, when he kissed me, it was all he could do to stop from going further. One evening, he had admitted as much – that he had wanted to but he couldn't let himself. I wouldn't love him half so much if he wasn't as attentive and romantic.

He had said at dinner that he needed to talk to me and asked if he could come to my rooms. We had been provided with accommodation in Harrowmont's estate and each had been given our own private room with bath. I was looking forward to a sleep by myself for once, not having to care about who else I would disturb. Servants had flitted around us but right now, they waited somewhere far away from where I lay. Wandering through the corridors, doors to guest quarters peeling off them as we walked along, it had staggered me how big it had been.

A knock at the door awoke me from my daydream. This would likely be him. I rose off the bed and smoothed my dress down. It was the only dress I had but it was better than armour. Checking myself in the mirror to make sure I was presentable, I walked quickly over. Pausing just before I opened up the door to the man who made my heart beat, my fingertips rested on the handle and I took a deep breath. Exhaling slowly, I stared through the wood that separated us. I was nervous, and that was new.

Opening it up, he had pushed his way into the room before the door was even half open. Even from the back, I could tell how agitated he was. The door was pushed to beside me and I watched him stalk back and forth across the carpets.

“Come in.” I laughed, gently mocking his urgent entry.  
“The Deep Roads, Mia. The fucking _Deep Roads_.” he muttered, gesticulating as he paced. Evidently he had been thinking the same as me. He stopped in front of the fire and crossed his arms, letting the fingers from one hand ride up and play absently with his mouth. The hold of his shoulders concerned my softer side.

I walked over and slipped my arms through his, hugging him and laying my face gently against his back. Immediately, his arms covered them and his fingers spread into mine.

“It is not inevitable, my darling.” I whispered as I squeezed him tighter to me.  
“I know.” his soft voice responded as he stared into the fire. A pregnant moment spread silently over the room as we both stood quietly holding the other. “If I lose you ...”  
“Alistair, leave this conversation for the Archdemon, not for tunnels of nugs and deep stalkers.” I chastened softly. If my heart could only feel as relaxed as I had forced my voice to be.

He spun around, taking my fingers and squeezing them earnestly. The speed of it surprised me and I found myself staring into his amber eyes. Fear stalked there but it was not fear for himself, rather me.

“Have you heard them singing?” he smiled forlornly as the inevitability of our fate creased fear into the corners of his eyes. My own closed with sadness. A hand left mine and brushed my hair back from my face, fingertips gently pushing it behind my ears. He pushed forward to kiss me and it caught me unawares. His mouth caught mine with a sudden passion. The more it went on, the more I wanted it to keep going. His lips were hot against mine, stubble rasping softly against my cheek. But he broke it off and pressed me to his chest, strong arms wrapping around me in a primal show of protection.

After a few moments though, he pushed away from me and strode a few paces away, clearly still agitated.

“Alright, I guess I really don't know how to ask you this.”  
“Ask me what?”  
“Oh, how do I say this? You'd think it would be easier, but every time I'm around you, I feel as if my head's about to explode. I can't think straight!” he cried in exasperation as he turned round and threw his hands up to his head. It sparked a fire that he felt that passionate about me.  
“I feel the same way.” I started forward and said, eager to calm him.  
“Well, I hope you mean the head exploding thing in a good way.” he stopped and said to me with his crooked smile. He turned back towards me again and his voice dropped to a serious tone. “Here's the thing: being near you makes me crazy, but I can't imagine being without you. Not ever. I don't know how to say this another way. I love you.”  
“You love me?”

He nodded silently.

“Alistair, I love you too.”

I had known it almost since we met, known that I loved him beyond even life itself. It was joy that I surrendered to first, then happiness, and finally utter bliss and contentment. It showed on my face and in my smile, finally taking over my very skin. As I said it, he took one of my hands and pressed his lips tightly to the backs on the fingers before looking up to me and making my stomach flip. A sudden look of nervous determination caught his eyes. I couldn’t have described the earnest desire that I saw there.

“I want to spend to spend the night with you. Here, before we go down the Deep Roads to our fate. Maybe this is too fast, I don't know, but … I know what I feel.”  
“You want to spend the night? Are you sure?” My heart was hammering in my chest, thudding against my ribcage. I wanted this. So badly.  
“I wanted to wait for the perfect time, the perfect place … but when will it be perfect? If things were, we wouldn't even have met.” His wide, amber eyes flittered around with excitement and I found it exhilarating. He moved to stand inches away from me, still holding the backs of my fingers. His body heat radiated off of him and I felt weak. “We sort of … stumbled into each other, and despite this being the least perfect time, I still found myself falling for you in between all the fighting and everything else.”

He bent down to kiss me again, gently this time. His hands cupped my jaw and as he brought his head back, his thumb gently brushed my cheek. He looked sweetly nervous as he stared into my eyes.

“I really don’t want to wait any more. I’ve never done this before. You know that.” he told me lovingly. “I want it to be with you, while we have the chance. In case …”

And then I cut him off. I couldn’t stand it any longer. Alistair Theirin was stood inches from me, loving me, wanting me, and I could have him. My arms wrapped around his neck and I pulled him to me, kissing him as deeply as I could. This was the result of months of tension and love and relationship building. At the end of the day, he was the most handsome man I had ever known and I loved him with a passion that I could feel rising with every moment I stayed kissing him.

Eventually I broke off though. “No need to say anything else. I agree.” I whispered excitedly. I stared up at him, biting my lip with a thrill at what we were going to do.  
“What do I do now? Do I take my clothes off?” he asked shyly, his voice showing he was suddenly unsure about what to do.  
“No, my love. You kiss me. Everything else will just happen.” I told him, trying to keep my rampant hormones in check. This was going to happen and it was going to happen now.

I kissed him again before we could change our minds. My hands slipped upwards from his face to run through his hair. I could feel his large hands lay gingerly on my hips, running around to my back and gently exploring, finding the way slowly in case I changed my mind. They pulled me into him as the kiss deepened. One of mine, shaking like a leaf, found the back of his head and I dragged him towards me, eager to keep him nearby. I was so scared he was going to change his mind and run out of the door.

He broke the kiss and from the ragged breathing, was allowing his passionate side to take over. People cast him so often as the Templar, the bastard prince, the Grey Warden, but never Alistair. Never himself. I could feel it now in how he was acting and it delighted me. Kissing me again, more passionately and uncontrolled this time, he guided me back towards the wall where I was pressed up against it, kept from moving by his tall and strong form as he crushed his lips to mine. Faster and faster the kisses came.

“Okay, stand back a moment.” I laughed, pushing him back a little. A nervous giggle escaped my lips as my fingers found the buttons of his jacket. Trembling, my shaking fingers had trouble with a few of them but eventually I managed to undo. My hands slid up underneath the lapels and up his hard chest. I pushed it off his arms, feeling the firm muscles underneath the cotton shirt. Again my heart hammered against my chest as my hands found the bottom of his shirt. Tugging it slowly out of his trousers, I kept his eyes steadily as I pulled it over his head. He helped me slightly but never left my eyes once. His chest was revealed to me and it was as glorious as I thought it would have been. Staring at it, I ran one nervous hand down it, past the faint blonde hairs that covered him. Grasping my upper arms and running his hands lightly up and down them caused me to shiver slightly. My palm laid flat on his chest and I put my lips to his skin, slowly kissing his chest.

Looking up again, I knew this was it. I felt his hands find my hemline. Lifting my arms, I felt him unclothe me, pulling the dress over my head carefully and dropping it on the floor. I stood before him in my underwear. There it was, my body. Barely clothed. I had never any reason to feel afraid because of it, but now as we stood here, both grown adults, I realised that we were about to do something neither of us had done before. Except me, once, and that didn't count. Only now, with him, counted.

My bra was unhooked and dropped to the floor, and I slid my pants down to the ground. Standing up again, I was completely naked in front of him. Naked and intensely vulnerable, I leaned back against the wall for support. Alistair swallowed as he looked at me, standing slightly back to look me up and down. His naked chest heaved up and down as his eyes travelled over my body. I took the chance to do the same. He was as powerful as I'd ever seen a man and I felt my knees turn weak.

“Your hair. Please unpin it.” he drawled.

Wondering if tonight might be the night, I had redone my hair to be supported by only a few pins. These were quickly removed and my blonde hair fell around my shoulders in waves. I shook it out a little and once more looked him.

“Mia,” he purred, lust flooding his voice and robbing it of strength, “are you really mine?”  
“Maker, yes.” I said in a deep voice driven by hunger for him, feeling my heart take over my own voice. “Are you mine?”  
“All of me, for ever.” he said before catching my face again and kissing me fervently.

I pushed him forward as I kissed him, to guide him backwards towards the bed. His hands snaked over my naked body towards my arse. Yelping, I was picked up and hugged tighter to him. He walked across the room towards the bed, kissing me as I was carried. I was no more than air to him, such were the strength in his arms, but despite this power, he laid me down with infinite care on the bed before climbing on top of me. Laying there underneath Alistair, I felt the full weight of him but he never hurt me, never leaned on me fully. Instead he was on his elbows whilst still feeling as if he was wrapped around me.

I leant my head to one side to expose my neck and pointed to a spot near my ears. “Please,” I begged, “please, kiss me here.”

Immediately he did and his hot breath sent electricity shooting over my body, racing past my breasts and catching my nipples. There seemed to be pathways I'd never known about and they crackled, this one from my neck to between my legs. Still he did it and still those ways pulsed with desire.

He propped himself up on one elbow to look at me. There was a renewed nervousness there as he looked from me to my breasts. I could tell what he wanted.

“Give me your hand.” I instructed to which he obliged. His free hand was brought up to mine and I took it and placed the palm on the waiting flesh of my breast, my own warm hand covering his. A mighty breath was inhaled by him as he stared at his fingers and what lay underneath them. As he caressed them gently, running his hand over the soft skin, he brought his thumb up to play with the nipple. I had never noticed what rough skin he had on his hands until his thumb was teasing me. It sent shots of joy through those new roads he had shown me in my body.

Gently he bent his head down to catch one in his teeth, lightly scraping the sensitive skin and causing me to writhe slightly under him.

“O – oh.” I cried softly. “Again.”

My lover obliged and, unbidden, I felt my thigh come up as he did it to wrap around his waist. My hands once again found his face and I kissed him deeply. His travelled up and down my skin, over my arse and as he did so, he started to want to push into me with his hips.

“We need you undressed for that, my darling.” I purred to him, still grazing his jaw with my fingertips.  
“Will trousers not do?” he grinned before returning to my neck and whispering with hot breath, “but they're my best pair.”  
“I'm going to prefer what's underneath it.” I said as I boldly slipped a hand into his trousers.

I wasn't sure what I would find there, whether it would be a good or bad surprise but as my hand wrapped around a large and solid cock, my eyes widened briefly at the size of it. He shivered slightly at my touch but he soon moaned with pleasure into my neck.  ' _But you're so timid!_ ' I thought in amazement. ' _How can you be hiding_ this?'

“On your back.” I instructed.

He rolled over on the large bed and I playfully clambered up onto him. His hands found me quickly and the warm palms pulled my back down towards his waiting body. After kissing him again, I shifted backwards and started to unlace the front of his trousers. Washing my eyes over the large soldier laying prostrate on my bed and looking at me with intent lust, I felt like the only woman in Thedas. Certainly the luckiest one anyway.

I pulled the tops of his trousers and underclothes down, prompting him to lift his arse and reveal what I had to play with. The trousers were removed entirely and Alistair was now naked. Dropping the clothes on the floor at the end of the bed, I climbed back on the bed to get a proper look. I was not proud to say that as I gazed at his swollen cock, my mouth dropped open slightly in surprise at the magnificence of it. Clearing my throat, I looked back to catch his nervous look.

“Is that … okay?” he asked, showing his palms and shrugging his shoulders.

My eyebrows raised and I bit my lip with a disbelieving smile. Silently I nodded my head as I looked back again.

“Very.” I approved, my voice hitching in my throat.

Laying across him, his fingers already starting playing on my back and guiding me back to his face, I could feel his cock pressed against my stomach and I had to move myself slightly for comfort. I resumed kissing him with zeal as he let his hands explore my back, my shoulders, the swell of my arse. They rested there as he kissed me more but as they went on, they travelled back up to my hair.

My breasts were tingling with anticipation, as was my skin. All over there was a growing heat between us as we kissed passionately and then kissed some more. There was a new kind of tension growing between my legs as my heartrate continued to beat loudly. Lust and love were driving my desire to have him to ridiculous levels.

“I want you.” I moaned as he kissed me.  
“You have me.” he replied sweetly, not knowing in the least what I meant.  
“No, I want you, Alistair. Now.”  
“Oh, okay. Let's go then!” he smiled softly as he realised what I meant.

He rolled me onto my back again, slipping his hands under my shoulders as he continued to kiss me. I could feel the head of his cock between my legs and my stomach flipped with anticipation. Reaching down, I guided him to the spot he needed.

“There?” came the gentle question as he looked deep into my eyes.  
“Mm-mmm.” I returned, unable to talk, my arms wrapping around his muscled back.  
“I love you.” he moaned into my ear as he kissed me. “Do you love me?”  
“Always.”

With one great push from his hips, he was in me. My back arched as he did so and my breasts were squeezed against his hot chest. I cried out at the sensation as he seemed to stretch me in ways that were both painful and infinitely wonderful at the same time. He groaned with pleasure into my neck as he felt me close around him. His fingers around my shoulder tightened as he pulled out a little before pushing back into me. Sweet pain caused a tear to form on my eye and it fell down my temple to run into my hair. There was tenderness there as he kissed my lips before sliding in and out. Again and again he did it, each time new sensations were lighting up my body and firing places I didn't even know were inside me.

A tightening was growing between my legs and with it, the most amazing feelings. In, out, in, out, _in_ , out, _in_ , out. He seemed to fit me so well, his cock hitting all the places that I needed. Breathing was coming short and ragged now as lust and pace were building, from both of us. He looked down at me and I saw the need in his eyes, the passion and the desire to have me, possess me, devour me.

Faster and faster he moved, unable to control himself any longer. The great swell of pleasure was building and building – in, out, _in_ , out, faster, faster. Ramming into me, I could hear him start to grunt animalistically into my neck. Any … moment … now … oh, please … Maker ...

“Oh!” I cried as the coiled pressure between my legs finally broke.

Waves of undeniable pleasure flooded my body. My vision blurred a little as I squeezed my eyes shut against the sheer force of it. He cried out into my neck as he came inside me, moments later. I could still feel the wild abandon with which he pushed into me, desperate groans of joy hot against my neck. The last tremors of an intense experience swept across us both.

Slowly, slowly, he came down and gradually stopped pushing into me, coming to a halt.

“Maker's breath.” he panted raggedly, kissing me deeply. “Fuck me, that was amazing! You were amazing! Everything was amazing! I love you.”

He slipped out of me and fell to the mattress to my side, his arm draped over me and still drawing deep breaths to calm down. I was no less composed and was riding the feelings from what had just happened.

“Wow.” I managed to utter, giggling to myself happily. I was just unable to manage anything else, except a massive grin that just would not stop. I rolled my head over to see him, his eyes shining up at me happily, inches from my face. Alistair planted a loving kiss on my lips before turning to lay properly on the bed. I wasn't prepared to let him get away so I rolled with him and snuggled into his chest. His arm wrapped around mine and we both lay there comfortably, naked and warm from our exercise.

“Hmmm,” he hummed contentedly. “You know, according to all the sisters of the monastery, I should have been struck by lightning by now.”  
I lifted my head to look at him with an amazed look. “Not for that performance.” I smiled.  
“Meaning it was so great the Maker Himself has decided to spare me the usual punishment, right? Right?” I nodded vigorously before settling back down again once more. “Awww.”

We lay together for a few quiet moments. My heart was starting to return to normal but was still wildly happy.

“You do realise the rest of our party are going to talk, right? They do that.”  
“First smart comment and I feed them to the Darkspawn.” I murmured into his chest with a smirk. Alistair burst out laughing. “See, this is why I love you.” he said, kissing the top of my head. “So what now? Where do we go from here?”  
“We have a Darkspawn horde to defeat.” I groaned, allowing my mind to drift to tomorrow's plans.  
“You're so practical, you make me proud.” he smiled before whispering, “I love you, Mia.”  
“I love you too Alistair.”

I dragged the blanket up so it covered us both. I didn't know about him but I was starting to feel snoozy. Here I was, snuggled into the bare and naked chest of the man I had just had wild sex with. I didn't care that I was about to go to my almost certain death. He had just knocked that worry out of me. All I care about was the six-foot-or-so Grey Warden that lay with his warm, hard body just next to mine. In fact, I didn't just care about him. I loved him and he loved me. With that thought curling a smile onto my lips, I gradually felt the exhaustion and release of what we had done claim my mind. Sleep was taking over and I felt my eyelids gently drift shut.

For the first time in a long time, I was happy.


End file.
